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What I’ve learnt from – break ups

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Let’s pretend it’s Wednesday because that means that this post is on time!

When it comes to life I’m not someone that subscribes to labels or outdated idea’s of how we all should or could fit in to a pre-packaged ideal. Yet when it comes to break ups I do think that there are two types of people – those that handle break-ups incredibly well and those that struggle to cope and I’ve made no secret of the fact that I identify in the latter.

I’m absolutely terrible, I just hate it and I think it stems from the fact that I am really terrible at saying goodbye’s, I hate it when good things have to come to an end. Why can’t all good things las forever?

So needless to say I have had some incredibly bad break-ups; one’s that ended worse than they should have, one’s that really hurt and one’s that left me depressed, risking a lot of important things. While breakups are naturally painful I have been forced to learn some crucial and critical lessons, meaning ultimately something good came form them.

Relationships fail and that is ok // When you’re in the midst of a relationship and you feel as if nothing can go wrong, a breakup can seem like the worst thing in the entire world and it can really take the wind out of your sails. As someone that really hates it when a good thing ends, I tend to exaggerate the situation and honestly feel as if the worst thing in the world has happened. Yet while it feels like a catastrophe at the time, and for a few weeks afterwards, breakups are a part of life. As hard as it might be, it’s not the end of the world and eventually you will get over it and perhaps even realise that it was the right decision anyway.

Change is ok // I’m definitely a relationship kind of person because I love the comfort and stability that a relationship gives you and usually this means I hate change. I’ve been in some really bad relationships, one’s that were inevitably going to end in break-up and yet despite that it’s still hard to accept when it’s over. If there’s one thing that I’ve learnt (and obviously there are a few, hence the post) change is a huge part of life, it’s inevitable and fighting it only makes it worse. Eventually change is a good thing because from each breakup comes a lesson and from that comes a second chance.

Never go alone // When you breakup with someone a lot of people want for the relationship to continue in some form and with the best of intentions they decide to be friends. There is nothing wrong with this but it can be a really hard move to make and a difficult change to adopt. While it might make your life easier in the long run, especially if you have the same friendship circles, initially you should break things off completely. It’s made even harder when one party is bitter or upset by the split. If you’re the individual that has been chosen to end the relationship then make yourself one promise, never visit that person alone. It’s always better to be safe than sorry with breakup violence now something that seems alarmingly common, it’s a risk that is simply not worth taking.

Memories last forever // It can be hard to admit that things will never be the same again or that the person you once loved has gone but memories last a life time. Initially it can be really hard to appreciate these memories and it can be painful to think about them, about how things were and what is coming to an end. But in the long run these memories will largely be a positive thing and in the years to come the chances are that you’ll look at most of them with happiness.

What lessons have your breakups taught you?

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  • jade

    wow! amazing blog post ! had a good read 🙂 I just love blog like this !!! thanks for sharing keep up the good work

    come say hi
    Jadiee’sLittleBlog

    Jade