What I’ve learnt from – being the other woman


I’ve ummed and ahhhed about writing this post but seeing as this entire series is based on lessons it’s kinda essential that I share this story with you and with that my advice on being the “other” woman. I guess I should start by explaining myself a bit better, explaining what I mean by the other woman and what gives me the experience to write this post.

During my second year of university I found myself at the centre of unprecedented male attention and for a while it was extremely flattering. I’d never really been in that kind of situation before but having lost a lot of weight and having made a conscious effort to take extra care of myself I suddenly found myself in a strange position.

It was fun but it soon started to impact on my self-esteem because all these men were doing was “objectifying” me. There are three names that come to mind (of course I won’t share that here) and they all had girlfriends at the time and so I came to feel as if I would only ever be the “other” woman.

I NEVER let anything happen with these individuals because I’ve been cheated on and would never inflict that pain on anyone else. Nonetheless I still learnt a lot about myself and about the situation I was in, so these are the lessons I learnt from being the other woman.

Some men don’t know what they’ve got // I knew the partners of one or two of these guys and at first I found it really hard to comprehend that they were betraying such beautiful, lovely woman. It shocked me and left me feeling incredibly confused, how could they do this when they were so lucky to already have an incredible girlfriend? Eventually many of these men were caught with other woman and then they would be remorseful, realising what they had done and what they were about to lose. It proved one really obvious lesson to me – men honestly don’t realise how lucky they are until it is too late.

Being “attractive” isn’t all that // Throughout high school I had always wanted to be an attractive girl, I wanted to have the kind of attention that I saw the pretty girls getting and it always felt as if I was losing out on something. We all like to feel loved, to feel wanted and to have someone attracted to us but it isn’t and shouldn’t be the end game.

Trust // For while back then I found it incredibly hard to trust my boyfriend’s because I’d seen how bad men could really be. I’ve gotten over that with time and I judge each person on their own record but I have to admit that it’s still in the back of my mind sometimes.

Have you ever been in this situation?

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