Learning to be on your own


Let’s be frank break-ups are never easy and they usually involve a whole load of tears and bucket loads of Ben and Jerry’s but for me the aftermath is even harder. It’s the learning to be on your own part that I struggle with, going from being in a couple to being alone is a massive adjustment and it usually means a few hiccups along the way. People enquiring after your partner, situations where you are surrounded by loved up couples and other similar tricky scenarios.

It’s sounds kinda weird but those break-ups happened for reason and ultimately I’m always happier on my own, but nonetheless it can be hard. So here are some tips and tricks for learning to be on your own.

A total cut off // Perhaps you and your ex had an acrimonious break-up and you both want to remain friends, that’s great because you obviously loved that person for a reason but initially it’s important to take a huge leap back. Take some time to love your own company again, learn things about yourself that you might have otherwise forgotten and just take stock of where your life is and what where you want it go. This is extremely hard at first but beneficial in the long run because it will allow you both to distance the feelings from the person and remember that they are not necessarily one and the same.

Friends // Friends are so important after a break-up because they will help you pick up the pieces, even when you feel like a jigsaw puzzle. When you’re in a relationship it can sometimes be difficult to manage aspects of your life and as a result something ends up giving, for me it tends to be my friends. The end of a relationship is the perfect time to reconnect with friends and for learning to be on your own with them again.

Run away // I would never advocate running away from your problems, I’m a firm believer in facing them head on but sometimes you just have to get away. If you can afford it why not ask your friends to go away with you for a few days and if you can’t afford it ask a relative if you can visit them. Getting away will allow you to avoid the places and spaces that will bring about emotional memories in effect allowing you to grieve the break-up fully.

Pick up where you left off // Let’s be honest here life is nothing but a balancing act, you’re constantly having to manage your time to ensure that everything is kept under control and as I mentioned earlier, usually it means something has to give. Most people make sacrifices for relationships some good, some bad and we won’t debate the morality of that here, but no doubt there will be somethings that have fallen by the wayside. Why not use your new found freedom to pursue hobbies that you might have once loved or perhaps even something you want to try? There is nothing stop you and it’ll be a good chance to get to know yourself again.

Learn to love yourself // The other suggestions are short-term tips and tricks but this one is a lifelong change and something that I am still struggling with but learning to love yourself goes hand in hand with learning to be on your own. Something I’ve learnt is to praise yourself at ever opportunity, sometimes I even start my day by writing a list of things that I’m grateful for being sure to praise myself along the way too. It’s a small step but one in the right direction.

Do you enjoy your own company? What advice or tips would you add to the list?


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