Hey everyone and welcome back, how are you?
So I apologise that I haven’t posted in a few days (it’s actually only been four but it feels like it was ages ago), but I haven’t been myself for a few days and have really struggled to get my head into a post. I’m back now though and am scheduling a number of posts to keep you occupied!
I wanted to write this post, although I’m finding it really hard to do so, because I promised that I would keep you updated on my mental health struggles and as the title suggests, I have been suffering lately.
A few weeks ago I was lucky enough to go to Labour party conference, and after meeting some really incredibly people I came away from there excited and feeling more motivated than ever before. Then reality sunk in, along with an overwhelming anticlimactic feeling and my emotions came down with a bump.
A few days after returning, the amazing buzz and excitement (not the motivation that managed to remain) began to fade and instead I was left with an awful feeling of sadness. This is something I am becoming used to, because whenever I attend an event I really enjoy I then find that I feel sad after the event is over.
I guess I also felt a bit lonely too. Where I live is basically the middle of nowhere and very few friends live nearby, meaning that it can be very lonely. Instead of carrying on like normal, but remaining in touch with the amazing people I met, I spent the days wishing away my time and longing to be back at conference.
The worst thing was perhaps that every little thing made me feel worse than I already did. It’s so easy to believe that these feelings will last forever, but I was able to ease them slightly by reminding myself that I’ve been here before and I know that these feelings will pass. They always do.
Things that have made me feel better…
- Helping a friend on twitter with her anxiety issues.
- Texting my friend Sam, and thinking about my exciting trip to go visit her.
- Planning my goals and organising them into easy, manageable tasks. Using my brand new filofax to do this. It made me feel excited and hopeful.
- Not forcing myself to do anything.
- Scheduling “me” time.
- Reassuring myself that the feeling would pass, which it largely has.