Ghosts of relationships past

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Rambly, story kinda post.

A few weeks ago something pretty strange happened, an ex-boyfriend returned to my life and decided to invite me for a coffee. I was pretty skeptical at first, things ended extremely badly between us, so it seemed like a pretty silly idea. It was a particularly bad period of my life and not a time that I am proud of, so I was reluctant to revisit those painful memories but in the end I was feeling rather curious and I decided a coffee couldn’t hurt.

I couldn’t have been more wrong.

We went for a few drinks and before I knew it things had taken a different turn. I had no intention of us revisiting our “relationship” in any form and it hurt that he had thought it would be that easy to walk right back in. Admittedly I don’t think he was looking for a relationship, just companionship but he was wrong to think I wanted the same thing. I guess in a way I just felt like I was being used. I explained that it wasn’t what I wanted and I just wasn’t attracted to him in that way anymore. Since me and him I’ve met people that have made me rethink that kind of thing that I want from a relationship, the things that make a person attractive and the way I want my relationship to look.

It was glaringly obvious that we had as little in common now as we did when we originally dated, a lot has changed but our compatibility clearly hand’t. He doesn’t agree with my politics (and therefore arguably my values), he hates walking and I love it, he gets annoyed with my speaking habits and the fact that I use my phone a lot, and as silly as it sounds those are big parts of my personality. That was after one afternoon, after a three year gap……

Ex-partners a lot like ghosts, they haunt you forever, some good and some bad. Some are like poltergeists and make a lot of noise and fuss when they return and other’s represent nothing but sentimental and happy memories.

So in the wake of this haunting visit, I spent sometime thinking about what has changed since then and here are a few things he wouldn’t know about me.

I know what I want // Back when I met this ghost my life felt as if it was going nowhere and I had no idea of what I really wanted from a relationship. I was incredibly flattered by the attention and my anxious attachment made me act in ways I am not proud. I was happy to have someone and for a short time things were great but they fast went downhill. Since then (as mentioned earlier) I’ve met a few other special people, one in particular and I’ve realised that there are certain things that I really love. I’m in no rush to get in to a relationship and when I do, I want to know that he’s the person that makes me happy, makes me laugh, keeps me on my toes and makes me feel invincible.

I’m more confident than I’ve ever been // One million per cent. Partly because I’ve learnt to love myself, partly because I think I’ve found my political “home” and partly because of the above!

My values are important to me // In fact they are more than important they are necessary because they are at the heart of everything I believe in. I want to be with someone who understands these values and someone who wants to fight for them with me!

I’m more left-wing than I ever thought I was // Needs no more explanation!

I am in love with the film Pride // It’s everything you want in a film plus more. It’s beautiful!

It’s nice if you can be friends with an ex and I’m a sucker for romance, so happy endings are good too but a lot of the time it doesn’t work that way. Essentially ex’s are ex’s for a reason!

What’s everyone else experiences?

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