It’s been a while since I’ve written a post in this series. My blogging schedule has well truly fallen by the way side, something that having anxiety does to you sometimes. It likes to remind you of it’s existence just when you feel as if you have everything under control. The last few weeks have really taken their toll on me, I’ve become disorganised, less motivated and everything just seems to have fallen behind. There are several very personal reasons for this and I’m not going to bore you to death by listing them all here but this slump has been in part related to my anxiety and depression.
I’ve never made a secret of my anxiety and it’s something I am happy to talk about because by talking about it we normalise it and make it a less stigmatised issue to discuss.
Since having anxiety there are a few things that I’ve learnt about myself and my anxiety, so I thought it was time to share them.
It’s part of me // In a way it’s part of my everyday life and it’s something that I just have to live. Despite me having tried my utmost I simply can’t eradicate it and I definitely can’t ignore it. I don’t think it’s something that you just “get over” and while it’s not something that I love having, it’s a part of who I am and that’s that.
It’s unpredictable // There are certain things that are always bound to get me worrying and these triggers are as reliable as a 7 day week but sometimes my anxiety loves to surprise me. It throws a new trigger in to the mix, something I’ve never had to deal with before and challenges me to defy it’s often negative whims. It can be hard to deal with sometimes but I have a set of coping strategies that really work for me and these tend to save the day when there is the chance of disaster.
Sometimes it can be right // I know this seems kinda contradictory because most anxiety is flawed and unnecessary but sometimes my anxiety can be right. Take my past relationships for example where my anxiety has been incredibly difficult to deal with and yet my anxiety was warning me of something I already knew – that the relationship just wasn’t working. On the whole my anxiety is needless and useless but sometimes it has proven to be right.
Writing is as good as any drug // In the past I’ve taken drugs to deal with my anxiety and in all honesty they’ve done little or nothing for me but writing is something that works every time. By it’s very nature mental illness is unique and there is never a one size fits all solution but writing is something that has had a huge impact on my anxiety in only a positive way. I don’t keep a thought journal but sometimes when I need to straighten out the anxious thoughts that are cluttering my mind I sit down and write. I find that writing allows me to analyse these thoughts and decide which one’s are beneficial and which one’s are not.
What have you learnt from dealing with anxiety?