Hey everyone, how are you?
Anxiety can be really hard to understand, that’s for the sufferer, let alone anyone has never had it. I think that it is important where possible to explain it I an understandable way.
I have been wanting to do this for a while but as my anxiety has been largely in check, I haven’t really had a chance to do it.
However over the last few days my anxiety has been pretty bad, I am therefore using his as the perfect opportunity.
On my own while working in the library. Earlier this morning I emailed work explaining that the days that I would be in this week (I work from home some days) but never received a reply from my manager. I therefore resent the email to my two other colleagues.
- I must have done something wrong. (They have found out I did something wrong).
- Everyone will find out that I am a fraud, useless and bad at my job.
- I’m in trouble
- All of the staff have been told not to reply to me.
- I am going to be fired and they won’t give me a good reference.
- They are annoyed at me for something.
How I feel?
I feel really on edge and jumpy, every time my phone goes or I get a new email I jump to answer it. I feel really uncomfortable, my tummy has nervous butterflies, I feel cold and it feels as if I can feel every single sensation in my body (my hands are tingling, I feel as though I can feel the blood in my veins).
How it causes me to act?
- I keep regularly checking my emails, praying for a response.
- I want to find some way to get the reassurance from them that everything is ok (for example I asked in email if it was all ok, I want to find something to contact them about).
- I want to go home, go to bed and pass the time so that I can see if I have any emails from them tomorrow. Waiting makes me feel anxious so I want to pass the time!
- The office could be busy.
- They could be out of the office.
- They might not be getting my emails.
Not a lot. I have tried to dissect the thoughts, and it helped briefly but ultimately I am back to where I was. Distracting my thoughts did help a lot more, for example focussing on an object to bring me out of my head or writing blog posts.
Nothing at all. They replied saying that they hadn’t been checking emails and not to worry at all!